Murphy's Laws on Being a Good Consultant

First off, know that I love laws. Laws are irrefutable. If you have been in this business more than a minute you will agree - that these are laws - and you will agree without question.

Here they are:
Murphy's Law on Project Done-ness:
The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.

Murphy's Law on "Hours In":
If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

Murphy's Law on Performance and Praise:
A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.

Murphy's Law on Promotability:

Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Murphy's Law on Recognition:
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you say you're going to do.

Murphy's Law on Recognition and Confidence:

If you say something - say it with absolute certainty, not going into details, nor supporting the statement with facts.

Murphy's Law on Consultant Merit Increases:
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

Murphy's Law on Consultant Crap Gathering:

The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

Murphy's Law on Image Improvement:

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a large binder.

Murphy's Second Law on Image Improvement:

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious, carrying a large binder and are carrying an open laptop. 

Murphy's Law on Information Gathering:

Never ask two questions in an email to a client. The reply will answer the one question you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.

Murphy's Law on Productivity and Billable Hours:
When the partners and manager talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

Murphy's Law on Managing Up:
The partner is always right.

Murphy's Second Law on Managing Up:
Keep your manager's manager off your manager's back.

Murphy's Third Law on Managing Up:
Keep a "Pearl Harbor" file.

Murphy's Law on Not Losing Files:
Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

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